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Location: DownByTheRiver, Central Iowa, United States

Husband of the world's most wonderful wife, father of the world's four most brilliant children, grandfather to the world's eight most beautiful granddaughters and two handsomest grandsons

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Deep Cover Manhood

The RRR shares with his readers the darkest secret of manhood. This may be the first time a man has ever openly declared these facts publicly. Usually it is information passed from father to son in ceremonies under the full moon, uttered after the taking of blood oaths. The RRR may be swept up by the gender police and “re-educated”.

Are you ready?

It all starts at age 47. The vision begins to go and bifocals become necessary. The abdominal muscles give out and the “beer” belly becomes prominent. High blood pressure overtakes him. Diabetes begins. Prostate problems sneak in. Hemorrhoids, and indigestion overtake him. Libido suffers. Chronic back pain starts and muscle aches become a fact of life. The teeth start to go. First there are root canal's, then extractions and finally... dentures. Heel spurs cripple him. Baldness spreads across his head. The memory fades and the pocket calender becomes his “brain”.

But the worst thing of all...

The darkest of all male secrets...

One morning he awakens and finds.

On his bedside table...

Looking as though it had always been there...

Shhh, don't tell any one...

A Coin Purse!!!

That's right, and from that moment on he is cursed to have to carry it with him always and make people in a hurry in stores wait for him while he makes exact change.


Blogger H. Jane said...

You make me smile, Dad.

7:11 PM  

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