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Location: DownByTheRiver, Central Iowa, United States

Husband of the world's most wonderful wife, father of the world's four most brilliant children, grandfather to the world's eight most beautiful granddaughters and two handsomest grandsons

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Ranger Oatmeal

The RRR presents here the authentic recipe for campfire oatmeal.

Hold an army canteen cup with your thumb hooked over the top edge to the first joint and fill it with water till it touches the tip of your thumb.

Drop in a small handful of raisins and a 3-finger pinch of salt.

Place on fire and bring to a boil.

Dump in one cup + a small palmful of old fashioned rolled oats. (only a non-Ranger or a Frenchman would use instant)

Bring to a boil and move to a cooler part of the fire to simmer for 5 minutes. If you don't have a watch and you shouldn't if you're REALLY camping, The Star Spangled Banner takes just over a minute per verse to sing. If you don't know all the verses, you should. Happy Birthday takes 15 seconds, Jesus Loves Me about 25.

Remove from fire, cover for five minutes more. The cardboard lid of a c-ration box worked great for a cover, these days use something similar.

If the oatmeal is too runny after 5 minutes, toss in a palmful of dried milk and stir. If it's not too runny, a dollop of water and then the dried milk. Add a 5 finger pinch of dark brown sugar or maple syrup crystals (hideously expensive from Frontier Natural Foods in Norway Iowa, but worth every penny).

Give thanks and eat with an enamelware spoon.


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