Billy Bob Speaks

"Folks, don't' listen to this jerk. He not only leaves me parked in the pasture till he needs me, then expects me to start without trouble, he doesn't deserve a REAL truck. He drives me to work at a hospital, that's right, a hospital. Not a factory, not the quarry, not the grain elevator, but a HOSPITAL. I could die of shame when a truck driven by a real man goes by. He's no more rednecked than Al Gore. Whenever he can he drives a wimpy little 3 cylinder rice burner. He hasn't drank a beer or touched a glass of Jack since I was born and he rode in tonight with a Bible in the seat beside him instead of a .44 magnum. I'll bet he doesn't even know the words to "My Baby Thinks My Tractor's Sexy".

River Rat Ranger my rear differential."